A mentor is a personal, portable, no-cost resource to help you set and meet your unique goals. Mentoring is an explicit one-to-one learning relationship between a person who wants to improve job or career skills and a person who can help him or her do that. Mentors are much more than "go-to" people. Mentors are champions of learning. Mentors take a position of high interest and investment in another's development. They want to mentor. They share knowledge, encouragement, guidance and feedback about job content and organizational culture. They advocate for their mentees' successes. Mentoring provides encouragement and structure to support the mentee. In the ideal, mentoring and being mentored is business as usual.
Why should you have one? You're good at what you do. You are the one who helps customers solve their problems. You help your customers thrive. You are totally focused on their success. Who does that for you? Are you so busy meeting other people's needs that you neglect yours? How will you:
- Build your career?
- Expand your expertise?
- Develop your talents?
- Gain skills?
- Overcome your weaknesses?
- Maneuver the culture in your organization?
Your manager could be a logical choice to mentor you, but chances are that person is as busy as you are. You are booked solid with work, but you have aspirations that call for individual attention. A mentor is probably not going to volunteer without being invited. You have to find your own.
Here is a simple five-step process to find the help you want and use the help you find. Nothing here will surprise you. The process is intuitive, but working it requires discipline, and that's the big challenge. This structure is designed to keep you on track, yet with flexibility to serve you throughout your career. Without structure, mentoring tends to become spotty and loses effectiveness.
1. Define what you want to accomplish and what help you need. Are you looking for technical expansion, career growth, objectivity, creativity, connections, etc.?
Examine yourself and be honest about what you need to keep doing, stop doing, and start doing to get there. Professionals like you cultivate confidence, thus others may not notice where you are lacking. You can be completely candid with a mentor, which is part of the purpose of having one. The more clearly you can see your strengths and weaknesses, the more willing you are to lay those out to someone you trust, the more successfully you will work with a mentor.
2. Find people who can offer you what you want, whom you admire, and who will feel honored at your request. One fundamental characteristic that any mentor must have is a passion for helping others succeed. Don't be shy. Ask your colleagues to help you conduct your search. It's similar to a job search - you want the best match possible. You define what "best match" looks like. Think about trust, communication styles and differences in perspective, in addition to career-related qualities. You may find your mentor at the desk next to yours, or online in a different geographic location. You may find more than one mentor at a time, depending on your goals.
3. Contract for the mentoring relationship. The Number One reason mentoring works is because the learning experience is shaped exactly to you and what you need. You and your mentor together define that shape.
There are two parts to the learning contract: role definition, and the specific learning goals. Sometimes the learning contract is written, sometimes verbal. Always, it is explicit. Because the mentoring process is a work in progress, clarity and structure keep it moving ahead. It is a framework within which you and your mentor can be creative and forward-thinking. It gives enough structure to keep the process focused and moving, with built-in flexibility to continuously assess and improve. Without such structure, the mentoring process can get off track and become less than optimally effective.
Here is a simple beginning "contract" for the mentoring process. You will probably want to add to it to meet your own expectations.
I, the mentee, need from you, the mentor, your individual attention, expertise, support, encouragement, open and honest feedback, and trust.
You, the mentor, can expect from me, the mentee, my eagerness to learn, willingness to ask for help, willingness to take risks, open and honest feedback, and trust.
Refine your goals with your mentor's help. Determine how to interact, and with what frequency. Find the best ways for you to exchange feedback. Virtual mentoring is increasingly popular, and provides the ultimate mentoring portability. E-mail, telephone, texting, social media, Skype..... pathways for staying in touch are nearly endless and increasing every day. Talk about ending the mentoring relationship, right at the beginning. Step 5 should not come as a surprise. What will indicate that it's time for a change, from both perspectives? Also talk about how you will communicate if the mentoring is not working out, for any reason.
4. Contact your mentor as planned. One of the greatest challenges for professionals is asking for specific help. We earn our living sharing our expertise, and it is difficult to tap someone else's. The best advice is to "just do it." Having a mentor does no good if you don't use that person. Your mentor cannot guess at how to help you. These contacts should be high priorities for both of you.
5. Examine or end the formal mentoring when you achieve your goals, or when new needs arise that change your direction. This may mean you re-contract around new goals, move into a less formal relationship, or find a new mentor. Mentoring is a long-term relationship, but it need not be for life. You are smart, ambitious, and creative. You learn quickly, and move on to new goals. Mentoring should be totally relevant to what is going on for you at any given time. When the relevancy lessens, that's a clue it's time to change. Ending the formal mentoring is not an insult to the mentor, rather a tribute to how helpful that person was. Very often, mentors and mentees remain close friends, and mentoring continues informally, as needed.
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